Time

I lived quite far from school. It may not be far by today's standards and I do travel a great deal more each day now than I used to when going to school, but it was far then. And for a long time it made me feel quite wretched because we did not have a car. Well, eventually we did but it was rather expensive to run it and we could not afford using it everyday.

Living far from school meant I could not walk to school. I could not stay back after school for "extra curriculars" and most of all, I had to give that explanation to everybody at school. I was resigned and accepted that we had to stay where we did. And that time was my enemy.

It was my enemy because it chose to tick away and while I could do with an extra hour of sleep, I had to be up and ready everyday. I would reach school a good one hour early; not because I chose to, but because my bus had to drop a lot of children going to many different schools. And they had to start early so that everyone reached on time.

Brother Gomes often found me in the corridor and asked looking quite alarmed, "Why are you so early young man?"

The same explanation would follow. He would listen and blink through his round spectacles and then nodding, walk away. He never quite remembered me. So, I dreaded meeting him in the corridor early morning to be asked the same question again.

In the afternoon, after school, I had to wait for the bus which was always late. Children boarded it chattering and making a lot of noise. I always felt angry at having to wait so long after school. On rainy days, it was far worse because half the seats in the bus were wet with leaky windows, and the other half already occupied. So you see, I would be angry that I had to wait in the rain for the bus and angrier that there was no place to sit, so I had to carry my books and find a foothold somehow. Time was my enemy alright. It appeared that my time was also of no value to everyone except me.

"Time and Tide wait for none"

But I waited all my life. Waited for school to start. Waited for the bus to arrive. Waited to make my time count. Though it was my enemy, I valued it very much indeed.

I wonder today at the hours wiled away doing nothing but waiting. Perhaps, I did not have the industry to do something with that time. Or perhaps I was so angry all the time that, just as I said, I was resigned to the fate of wasted time.

Much later, I do know how to manage my time better. I use my moments with care and ensure that none of my 'precious' enemy is wasted while it contines to do what it does best...tick away. But now I realize that my view of time has been wrong all this while. While I have yearned to make use of my time in the most optimal way, the world seems to want to use it in a routine fashion. There is a time for everything. To an extent I agree. And to a large extent, I differ. For what really is time? Just a measure of delay between events? Time also ensures order and gives people the cue to combine energies towards a common cause. It has been the single most useful counter for the human race. And it goes on counting while we go on follwing the patterns set by society to keep in step with the rest of the world.

And in this pattern, if you look closely, there is a pot of gold. When the world moves like clockwork, there are a few who understand the futility of the counter and its infinite character. They understand that patterns provide an otherwise aimless existence with some semblance of purpose. Patterns can be as varied at waking up when there is sunlight to getting married by the age of 30 to retiring after the age of 60. In short, patterns provide the framework of life.

And there I was, walking into the office in the afternoon. I meet a certain someone and that person remarks, "You are late."

I answer, "for what?"

"You know, you are late. Everyone comes in early?"

"What is early? And I am late because everyone else is early?"

"You should come on time."

"On time for what?"

"You know. For work and all."

"But there is no time for work. Work must always go on. We choose when to work and when to rest."

"Yes. That is why you sleep at night and work during the day."

"Why? Why can't someone work partially during the day and patially during the night. You know. Enjoy the best of both worlds."

"That is unnatural."

"You think it is unnatural because you seek acceptance from the world. You fear the rebuke of the ones who fit better into the framework. You want to fit in very badly and are quite miserable all the time because you are running a rat race in which Time is of the essence". I smiled.

"Do you think I am rebuking you?"

"You definitely fit better into the framwork of society. I on the other hand am a rebel. But from where I stand, I am in control. You cannot be rebuked when you are in control."

Time is a continuum. I rest my case.