Saturday, June 28, 2008

Faith in Humanity II

Faith In Humanity

My thoughts bother me immensely, till I feel I cannot think any more.
When, like the song heard too many times loses its charm or an overdose of one's favourite food is easily tired, the thought kept too long in the mind loses its meaning...and its relevance.
In anger, one repeats and repetition is a sign of mental weakness. Therefore, anger weakens.

My nightly visitor visited me again. Over tea, I asked of the great one what it was to dwell on a thought. Was it not the basis for meditation...to think one thought and arrive at the true meaning?

The great one replied, "there is a nuance. When you meditate on a thought, you look at it with detachment. Its every aspect is measured and weighed. This is different from a thought that remains in the mind. If you make the thought yours and then keep it too long in your mind, it will decay and cause putrefaction".

"But sometimes I like holding onto a thought. It gives me a sort of martyred satisfaction".

"You do not need such crutches. By the way, your tea speaks of discontent. Are you not content child?"

"I am bothered. I like to pine sometimes and I feel sorry, even guilty for what I have. Am I at the threshold of renunciation?"

"You know the answer to that as well. You have crossed the level of material satisfaction. You seek higher satisfaction."

We sat late into the night and talked as usual. I do not have this visitor often. But when I do have this visit, we make the most of it. We have tea in a very customary fashion.

The great one rose to leave. I was in tears by then.

"I am happy for you have grown since my last visit. You can now cry. They say children cry...but little do they know that only the wise ones cry. I congratulate you on your achievement."

"I know what you are saying and yet there is a part of me that does not want to understand."

"That is your fear. It is the same everytime I visit. Did you realize that you never ask me to stay."

"I want to be with you always...I really do. But I also like the expectation of seeing you."

The great one laid a hand on my shoulder. "It is this expectation that is your anchor to the world. If you accept me, you will detach completely. Play your part. I shall keep visiting. You know how to reach me...don't you?"

"I do not."

"And yet you do."

I know I did. I felt the presence slip away. As always, the whisper, "Keep the faith".