The Prayer

Tipti is a little girl. Being a little girl, she likes to play with her dolls and have make belive tea parties and wear beautiful frocks with frills and go on long walks with mother. Tipti remembered how her mother loved her and took her shopping. In the vegetable market in Shillong (called the Barabazar) she and mother would shop for spices, vegetables, dry fish and tobacco. On their way back, they would enter the Jadoh (literally means rice with meat) stall of Kong(sister) Deng. Kong Deng and Jenny (Tipti's mother) were friends. Kong Deng made the best meat balls in town.

Tipti lay on the sack at the back of the hut and remembered these thoughts. They were the best times she ever had. Outside, loud music was playing. Many big and burly men were seated on the wooden bench, drinking shulai (local distilled alcohol). They would brawl and scream. Almost every day, Kong Mariah would have to throw some people out. Everyday she fought and everyday, the day never seemed to end because people never seemed to want to stop drinking and leave. Once in a while, some one would call out to Tipti and send her on an errand. Mostly for cigarettes and sometimes for kwai(betal nut). They sometimes let her keep the one or two rupee coin that came as change. In the evening, Kong Mariah checked her frock for these coins and took them all away.

But if there is one thing that Tipti hated it was washing those utensils in the stream that ran at the foot of the hill on which Kong Mariah kept her liquor shop. It was a steep slope with only a small path. And oh, Kong made her carry a bucket of water back when she came and that was really heavy for an eight year old.

"Tipti! Alley hangne'", Kong Mariah screamed.

Tipti knew that the time for the ordeal had come. Every day she prayed that she would not have to go down the hill and every day her prayers remained unanswered. Mother had taught her to pray everyday before sleep. She used to say that Christ came and helped small children who prayed everyday. She had always wanted to meet Christ. She did not believe that he could be nailed to a cross like that. And why people prayed to someone who was in quite some trouble himself. But mother could not be wrong. And so Tipti kept praying.

One should experience the chill that one is welcomed with when one steps out on a November night in Shillong. And then one should touch the water in a stream. At these times, one must count his or her blessings at having a warm hearth and a comfortable bed.

Tipti tied the shawl over her head and shoulders. Wore her rubber slippers and picked up one bucket of cups and saucers in one hand and the empty bucket in the other and walked out of the hut to brave the cold. Thus started her half an hour of horror everyday. She walked down the dark path, not bothering with the cold. There were quite a few sounds in the night. Insects mostly. But in that darkness, all she had for a light was the moon. She hated the moon light. It made the bushes seem like all sorts of things from people to monsters to anything that a child's imagination could conjure. But one would expect that one would get used to these things and I daresay, Tipti had more or less got used to the sounds and shadows. But she could never get used to the water front.

And in a short while, she came to the water front. There she put the buckets down with a clang and looked back the way she had come. The small keosene lamp shone with a faint glow in the hut above. But the hill loomed like a large shadow of a monster spreading its arms to gather anything in its way. Then Tipti looked all around her. Everything seemed calm. She quickly started to work.

One can well imagine how terrible the cold water could be on a November night. But Tipti did not seem to mind. She washed the cups, plates and glasses as fast as she could. Almost as if her life depended on it. And then, she waded into the stream and filled the bucket of water and slowly started her way back, up the hill.

Tipti always tried to move as fast as she could but it was not easy to carry two heavy buckets up a hill. And then, without fail, that which she dreaded would happen. Firstly it would seem like a presence, like someone following her. She would start feeling someone watching her as she washed. She would look around and start working again. But it was not until she started ascending the hill that the presence became stronger until just as she was about to panic and drop the buckets that were searing her hands and tearing her arms, two warm hands came from behind and took the buckets from her hands. She would look up and see a man, quite worn out and sad.

Together, they ascended the hill. She did not know this man. She did not know where he came from. Someone had said that there were ghosts. He could be a ghost.Tipti was almost always too terrified to look back at him again. She prayed to Jesus so that nothing would happen.

On reaching the hilltop, just a few paces before the hut, the man left her, gave her a pat on the head and disappeared into the night. He seemed kind but she could never get used to meeting this silent friend of hers who looked quite troubled himself but never failed to help her up the hill with her buckets. Inside, Kong Mariah would scream. She would forget her fears and enter the hut to help Kong clean the hut. Then Kong and she had dinner. She could retire after that to her sack where just before she fell asleep, she always said the following prayer:

"Dear God. I pray for mother so that she may not miss me as much as I miss her. I pray for Kong Mariah for looking after me. And I pray that you help me be a good girl and help me in my trouble...(pause) and also it would be nice if I could meet Christ. And don't make me go down the hill. Amen"

Then she would fall asleep.

Copyright (c) 2006 Keshab Koch

Faith in Humanity

Last night I had a visitor. He visits often and we talk late into the night while I make a late night cup of tea. Among other things, we spoke of humanity and what it really means.

For a moment I felt that I was going to get one of his many discourses on life, what it means. What I should do and not do. How things happen when they do. Basically this friend of mine is my very best friend and I just love to listen to him, while he goes on and on about all things around us. I also prize his advice very much.

He entered and sat down beside me. There was a frown on his otherwise lively face. I noticed it at once. "I have been down for a while", he said.

"I am here to listen", I said.

"There is too much ugliness in this world".

"I think we have had this discussion before", I said calmly.

There was a moment of silence. Then he stood up and started pacing up and down the room.

"Keshab", he at last said. "I am going to give you something today. You must not refuse".

"Oh a gift! I love gifts"

"Think what you will. Come sit by my side while I tell you what it is".

I sat down on the edge of my bed. He sat down by my side. And then he said something that I did not understand for a moment. This is what he said.

"In every form, every whim, every smile, every breath, there is but one truth. Yet it is the same truth that eludes us. What is the worst that will happen if you trust someone with something you prize? At most, that someone will cheat you and it will cause you some loss. But know this. No one can take that which you do not have. And you do not have anything. So if you put the person in front of you first and know in my knowledge that you are doing the right thing in loving a fellow human being, you are doing right. For the truth is not in the tangible but the intangible and unknown and that is how it is meant to be. And that is why it is elusive".

I gave him an incredulous look and asked him if he wanted a cup of tea.

"I never say no to a cup of tea. But tell me why you offer a cup of tea to everyone who steps through that door...even if it is the oddest hour, like now when the entire world sleeps?"

"I just like to have a cup of tea with that person. With it I offer hospitality and good will. I suppose that is my way of saying you are welcome and shall occupy some place in my heart. That you are free to knock. That I trust you".

He beamed. "I visited you to ask you this very question. I now see that I need not have said anything to you at all".

He rose to leave. Just as I felt his presence disseminate into the night, I heard him whisper, "Keep the faith".

You won't understand...but it's all right

Song I had to sing in a concert once:

Come into my joy
Come into my pain
Come you be a friend of mine
I'll be the same
- Peace Child (David Woolcombe)

Therefore I want to be a breath of fresh air, much like the one that embraces you when you step out on a dewey morning just as the sun starts rising.

Then I want to take an azure form and be the elixir of life that runs through the veins of humanity

Someday I shall also be a score of music so divine that heaven and earth shall dance in unison

And then I shall be a placid lake; tranquil, calm and with God