Life's like that!

When Vita was born, her parents wanted a boy. Not that they disliked her but it would have been better if she were a boy because she already had an elder sister. It just so happened that she was born a girl.

Vita was a peculiar child. She kept to herself mostly. She was a cheerful child in her own way, but shy. It was of course true, just as it usually is for the youngest in a family, that she was the pet of the family. Vita grew up in security. But that was until she was 18 years old when she had to be counselled for depression. No one really knows why she was depressed. Her parents only cared that she become normal. That, what was going in Vita's head was to remain a secret; one she would carry to her grave.

She did come out of her depression eventually. But the entire period had a profound impact on her personality. Those who knew her said that she had turned over a new leaf. And indeed she had. She was more determined.

But Vita's life is not the story. Hardly. It would be unfair if the author made it seem that way by discussing Vita's past. Let the reader know that this is just something to keep in mind.

In the heart of the city is a small coffee shop. It is in an area surrounded by schools and colleges. And it was well known for its tea more than its coffee. But that's another story.

Sitting by the window, one spies a tall boy with long hair falling in locks over his shoulders. He seemed conscious for having to sit alone. Once in a while, he looked out of the window to the pavement below. It was a busy pavement. Childen chattering, students frolicking. girls sailing past, boys ogling. Everything was there. Once through his first cup and into his second, he fished out an envelope and considered it for a while. Then lay it nervously on the table. It was a red envelope with black ink lettering on it. It said, 'TO RAGS WITH LOVE'. Rags was what his friends called him. The envelope was not opened. It contained something like a card or a letter. He was not sure what he would find in it. He almost dreaded it. He sipped his tea quietly, passing glances at the envelope. After sometime, as if by impulse, he rose, picked up the envelope and walked out of the coffee shop.

In another part of town, a phone rang.

"Hello. I thought you'd never call. Did you receive my envelope?"

"Yes I did."

"And?"

"You know Vita, I have not opened it yet. I don't know man. I cannot open it. Sorry!"

Rags hung up.

Vita sat transfixed for a while. Then started fuming with rage. Grabbing her coat and keys, she darted out of her house, slamming the door behind. Driving for a few minutes, she came upto a boy's hostel. At the gate, she gave a message for Rags. Even the sentry knew him as Rags. He also knew Vita very well but pretended she had come to meet a new boy evey time whereas Rags was the only one she called on.

Rags came down. He was in shorts and flip-flops. His hair was tied in a pony tail and he wore a rather 'slept in' t-shirt. For sometime, they walked in silence outside the gate till they came upto a bench by the side of the road. It was empty. They sat there.

Vita considered her case in her mind. If Rags refused to take her gift, he was a 'scum-bag' and did not deserve her friendship. Rags pulled out the envelope. Then he tore it open and puled out a hand made band and a letter. He opened the letter and read it out loud.

"Dear Rags:

You will find this letter strange. We meet everyday and share so much together that ours is a friendship bordering on love. I want to keep it that way. The friendship band will remind you of me and that I think of you as my best friend. You need not wear it but you can always use it in your key chain.

When I heard you were getting married, I felt very possessive. I did not know what I felt. But you must know that I wish you all the best and am extremely happy for you.

BTW, you did not introduce me to her yet. I want to meet her.

Love
Vita"

He looked at her and gave a wide smile. 'I am so relieved Vits. I thought you were mad at me. I meant to tell you earlier."

"That's all right man. I was upset that your marriage got fixed and you did not even give me a hint. It hurt very much."

"What's that crap about bordering on love."

"I want you to know what you have missed. We could get married you know."

They kept quiet for a while. The Rags broke the silence.

"You bloody bugger...you wanted me to feel rotten didn't you? No wonder you gave me that love lorn look when I broke the news and yesterday you sent me this. I thought it was a love letter or soemthing! I was petrified that you were secretly in love with me. I would not be able to handle it."

"Are you?"

"What?"

"In love. Are you in love with me?"

"It is bordering on love."

They shook hands. Rags returned to his room and pulled out his wallet. It had the photograph of a beautiful girl. He pulled that out to expose another below it. Vita looked skinnier in that photograph. But he liked it because it was taken when they had gone out for the first time. He pulled it out, gave it a kiss and threw it into the bin. Then sat down as if completely spent, staring at the wall.

Vita called her parents that evening. Among other things, they wanted to know if she liked any of the photographs they had sent her. She had. She was sending it the next day by courier. She also tried to cry but could not. It stayed as a lump in her throat.

Next day, Vita emerged a new girl. She had faltered for a while in the two years she had known Rags. Now it was all over. She decided to be her Papa's boy and her mother's girl. She decided also to be her therapist's success.

Vertigo II

O Affliction burning
You burn me not yet more
Sweet slumber's restful hate
You touch me yet no more.

Spinning, twirling, skimming shy
I unfold unfurl and unroll high
Twisted, triumphant, bitter - fie!
I fall back despondent creeping by

Tender hand of mother's love -
Apparation simmering in my mind's grove
Round about and yet again high
You touch me not, you touch me nigh!

Ringing, raging, roughing - try!
You dare not, you shall not, you die.
My mind gasps for rest - give it! try!
It fumbles, settles, steadies, pry
At last to sweet slumber's hateful hands
It does cry! It does...cry.

Gratification

In the corner of Bosco Square was a tea house. It was a new tea house and quite a deviation from the rest of the tea houses in the city. While one might be acustomed to the small, loud and crowded tea houses, this one was rather quiet, large and expensive. It also had glass walls so that passers by could see right through. It was well lit and felt cosy when looked in from the cold street outside.

Looking through into this house, one could see a middle aged woman sit alone and have iced tea. She might have been in her late thirties or maybe older. One could not guess these days. She did look as if she might have been quite a looker in her age. There was something pleasant and happy about her face. It was radiant with sharp, mascared eyes, full red lips and high cheekbones. One could not see her neck because she had a siik scarf round it. Her hair fell in waves over her shoulders.

She sat there and played with her tea. She seemed quite meditative although she did look at her watch once or twice. She was waiting for someone and from her face, it would seem she was in quite a bit of anticipation.

Her face lit up as a young man walked through the tea house door. He was younger than the woman. He had brown eyes, wavy hair that was dishevelled slightly by the cold wind outside. Slim and poised, he walked up to the woman beaming and planted a kiss on her cheek and sat down on the chair opposite.

"As usual, you are late. I got off work an hour ago."

"Traffic dear. You know how it is. How was your day?"

"Oh all right. It is the holiday season. Half the office is on leave. We should take off somewhere."

He nodded. Then he beckoned to the waiter and asked for a cup of tea with some buns.

"It's been a long time since we came here. There was a small tea shop before this. Remember?"

She glanced round and smiled. "Yes. I remember. We met here for the first time six years ago. It was raining and both of us had rushed in to take shelter."

She remembered how she had asked to sit at the same table as a stranger because there was no place available. He was younger then. Her friends had said he was too young for her. But that was six years ago.

"Helloooo...lost in thought."

She shrugged it away. "Listen. I was thinking of," and she hesitated for a while, "children."

He frowned.

"No just listen. I know it is late for me. I mean, at 42 you tend to be reproductively challenged. But what would you say to adoption. It does not matter if I do not carry the child. I just want a little baby."

He leaned forward and patted her on the hand. "I am with you on this, you know that. But you will have to give up work. We've been over this"

"I have decided to quit. I am going to have a baby even if it is by adoption."

There was a silence for sometime. He sipped his tea. She played with her curls. After sometime, he spoke.

"A baby would mean we have to give up the tea house."

"Yes, I realised that."

He sipped his tea quietly for another minute. She spoke this time.

"Ricky...remember how we had fought here the last time we met. I said some pretty ugly things. I am sorry."

"I thought we had left that behind. Do you women, ever forget?"

"That's what I like about you. You are always ready to move on. You do not stop and linger in the past. Everyday is a new day for you."

"I cannot afford to inger in the past. But I love you. Always have. You make me very proud. Young entrepreneur...youngest achiever award...tycoon and all that."

"Really. At times I thought you might be jealous."

"Naw!!! Not me."

"See...that's what I meant. That's what is so likeable about you."

They sat there for a while and then decided to take a walk. It was cold outside but the evening air had an uplifting quality about it. Silent walks bring two people very close. Many people will vouch for the fact. They walked for a while and the came to a bifurcation of the road. They stopped.

"Err...Ria. It is already an hour."

"Oh yes...ofcourse. I am sorry!"

She took out her hand bag and drew out two five hundred rupee notes and handed them over to him.

"Err...it is thousand five hundred now. The Escorts Service has raised the rates."

She gave hime another five hundred.

"When shall we meet again?" he asked.

"We'll see." They kissed each other's cheeks and started walking down the two different roads. She suddenly remembered something and retraced her steps.

"Ricky!" she shouted.

He turned. He was getting late for his next appointment. It was dinner and he had to change before that.

"I...err...forgot to give you this."

He walked back to take the red envelope she was holding out to him.

"What is it?"

"It's two ticktes to the Maldives. They are open tickets. Go when you can. Your wedding gift."

"Thanks." He gave her another peck on her cheek. She smiled and watched him walk away, round the bend.

It was a cold evening. She was cold. She hurried towards home. As she walked, she thought of the evening with Ricky. She did not know how long she could afford him. Thousand five hundred an hour was a little too much...even for Ricky.