March Madness I

March Madness

When the colour changed and life took a definition you sent the greatest hailstorm of all and became my nemesis. Not until the ice had completely melted did I realise that it might have preserved some of that sanity that is much desired but rarely to be had these days.

Nevertheless, when I reopen my eyes, I wish to see an inky blue sky with nimbus clouds and a golden sun. And it must lift my spirits in such a way that only the sacred feminine a.k.a Nature can. Can you?

From nemesis to saviour, from adversary to protector, you have taken forms and roles that teach me the basic, fundamental truth. Atleast you have been doing so. Why then have you decided to let me be, now that I am completely dependent on your insight that I had of late assumed as mine? I see that you have left behind something of a lingering mark, much like one of those 'proof of genuinity' holograms, that shows a glimpse of the real me seen from a particular angle and under certain wavelengths of light.

Paint me red. For that is the colour of life. And that is how I want to be.

Tempting as it may be, you want me to lose faith and find it again as if it might be one of your many exercises. Like forged and reforged iron so that it becomes stronger with every iteration. But, it is the same lingering mark that prevents me from doing so, so that it is a matter of time before I shall be one with you and all this angst and all this groping, crawling, grovelling for the truth will disappear.

Now this is my challenge. I do not believe that you need help. You never meant it to be perfect and maybe, you are also bored. Why should I pretend to be one close to you to help undo your own doing? For all I know, you might have had great amusement at the many souls who are well remembered by their actions but who I am sure were your own doing. I refuse to bear a burden that is in reality not a burden. I refuse to feel pain for something that is meant to be and I refuse to amuse you with my deeds stemming from senses that might pull me apart but like I said, some of that sanity was preserved by the ice.